Grand Somethings & Becoming Someone New

Last week, I took the first steps towards something grand.  This week, this grand something had me thinking about the last four years of my life, the four before that when I was in high school, and how I've made it to this point.  It seems like such a typical thing to think about, but I can't help it.  My memories of that time don't always feel like memories, because I was such a strikingly different person.  It's almost as if I'm watching a movie, because it no longer feels like me.

My thought processes have changed greatly since I was that little girl.  I no longer fret like I used to (although I still do, just a bit).  I've learned that if I'm going to be anything at all, I can't be afraid.  Instead, I now ask myself what I would do if I weren't afraid.  The nonsense that consumes my mind now is drastically different from the nonsense that used to find its way into the deep recesses of my brain.  I had no idea what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, or where I wanted to go.  But, within the last four years, I've found the pieces of those puzzling questions strewn about in each city I've lived in, each person I've met, and in each new door I've opened.  I no longer regret certain things that I did or didn't do.  Instead, I embrace them, because they've all carried me to this exact point.  Right here, right now.  I don't yet feel complete by any means, but I feel as though I'm well on my way to being the person that I used to dream of.  Not all too long ago, I saw a quote on Kara's blog that I just loved...she said that instead of striving to live a happy life, she was going to strive to live a beautiful one.  Isn't that perfect?

Do you ever think about the person you used to be?  Perhaps I think too much, and I certainly can ramble too much.

The photo above was taken almost 2 years ago on Alki Beach in Seattle.  Oh how I miss it, especially now.

xo, A.

P.S.  Today I decided I want something fresh and bright for Spring and Summer on this little blog of mine.  I have a wonderful idea in my head involving little flowers and woodsy Northwest greatness, but I can't draw or paint to save my life.  If you can (and have the time to create something lovely for me), I would love to chat with you!